We're Getting a Groove....

So I haven't written in almost exactly a month! On one hand that actually doesn't seem as long as it feels like as so many changes have happened, most of them good and progress.

So, YES, there will be posts on our time in Ethiopia. I even went back and re-read the journal that I typed as we were on the journey. I'm SO glad I did that! I highly recommend it for any other traveling families. Bring the laptop and use a word document and sit in your hotel and just TYPE. You can cut and paste it into your blog with the pictures later. Truthfully, had I not done that, I don't think I would have 10% of the record that I do of Ben's first few days with me. Everything up until the plane ride is cataloged and well.. you know its been what its been since.

So. How are we doing? What has changed since those first 2 weeks home where we all stood on the ledge of sanity every given hour?? I'll try to sum up the feelings.

Here are the challenges. Don't worry, there are many more positives happening now! This will NOT be that depressing!

1. Lucas has started having nightmares every 2-3 hours every night... usually just waking up screaming. Luckily, it doesn't take long to calm him, but it does involve me jumping up from bed pretty much every night and running through the house before he wakes up the neighborhood. Thus, my quantity of sleep is not that bad, but I really never sleep more than 2 hours at a time and it manifests itself in other areas
2. Ben is still clingy. Of course, given his trauma that is okay!!! It's just, well, exhausting when I'm home alone. There is still no sitting and playing with his brother in the living room while I put away dishes or something. There is no going potty for me when he is awake. If I want to accomplish something quickly, I just have to know that he will scream in panic and that is just that.
3. Lucas is 3. He is strong willed. He is vocal. He is fast. He is a normal 3 year old. I think most of his current behavior issues are normal, with a little heat turned up by the baby brother changes. Many of the most normal activities we have done 100's of times in his life can be an epic battle now. Such as wearing shoes, leaving the house, or having lunch. These days, when he misbehaves and disrespects or acts out physically he starts losing treasures and we have seen some success in that department, although it gets really old fighting the battles ALL. THE. TIME.
4. Ben is big. He is eating like a tank. He weights 1lb less than Lucas. He does not hold on, and when he is in upset baby mode he throws his head back and starts swinging. This is normal, but that is 30lbs of brunt force for me to control at any given second and sometimes it hurts.

See you survived let's hear some awesome things!
1. Ben SMILES. Big, giggly, "I JUST LOVE YOU!!!" smiles. The boys crack each other up. They are conspiring against me already.
2. Ben eats cheerios. To the casual observer you think "Of course he does. Why do we care?" Because I can give him a handful in his high chair and turn around and WALK AWAY to unload the dishwasher.. or pick up something, or make him some oatmeal without automatic screaming.
3. All Ben's stuff from the International adoption clinic came back clean. The guy still scratches at his skin all the time which we're working on, but we are intestinal and skin bug free along with other big whammys in his blood work.
4. Pretty much 90% of the time we get some precious nap overlap so I can breathe and eat. Hallelujah. Praise the Lord. Happy Dance. It's happening right now!!!
5. We were blessed by the ladies of Deerbrook Covenant Church with a shower that gave me a new stroller that was much needed so I don't always have to carry a child on my back in the heat. We also got a wagon (hooray!) and clothing, toys, wipes, and other necessities. I feel very loved.
6. Did you see our gorgeous new family pictures and Ben's 1 year photos? If not, I'll have them up here soon
7. As noted above, some small family projects are slowly getting done. I have all the photos from the trip delivered, family pictures done and being dispensed, health issues addressed, Ben's baby pictures taken and being dispensed, and a list of other things I feel I can slowly start working on.
8. Ben's Cert of Citizenship came last week! It went to our old address rather than the updated with with USCIS which is unforunate, but we finally got it through the forwarded postal system. Social security card here we come!
9. I have found small and simple ways to relax quickly when necessary and I feel like I am taking care of myself so that we can go on without getting so burned out that I question my own sanity, health, and overall existence. Cuts back on the crying and increases the love and patience I want to have for my children. Yeah, bubble baths, I'm talking about you and your amazingness.. with a little shout out to date nights... and the most glory to the sustainer of mother's who love our God. If it weren't for some quiet times of prayer and devotion I would have gone off the deep end in one way or another. Sometimes I just have to remember that He values me and my work for these little people.

Onward and upward. Psych it up. Ponytail up. For rest time will soon be over and there is more day ahead full of wonderful and exhausting things that are all mercies and gifts from God if you (and by "you" I am really preaching to ME) choose to see them that way.

In the words of Lucas as he repeats what I say all the time "Alwhite Sibwey boyz, whets do this!!!"