Sunday, December 14, 2014

Trent Update: A "Retroactive" MOWYCA ruling for old cases

So here is that blog post that I have been avoiding writing this week.. because then I'd have to.. ya know.. talk about it.

I received an update within a few days of my blog post back before Thanksgiving and more since then. A few days after Thanksgiving, MOWYCA did finally have our "comments" letter. Our agency had been going to the office bugging for our comments every day. The issue? We received a "negative" comment. This about sent me through the roof until I understood what they meant by "negative". A better description would really be "incomplete file with new regulations we just implemented and made retroactive to old cases".

So what does that mean?
The "regulation" MOWYCA rolled out which effects all children that were considered internationally adoptable before April 2014 (Trent hit that clearance in April 2013 before we even traveled for Sammy) is an additional letter to the Regional MOWYCA clearance from the village of his birth stating that there is no domestic way to parent this child in Ethiopia. This new regulation is now effecting a lot of people, especially those of us that are matched with children from "waiting child" lists that have been waiting for families to step up for awhile. I am not in this boat alone.

The day after our agency got that news, Trent's current orphanage, Miskaye in Addis Ababa where he has been in "holding" since becoming internationally adoptable in 2013 created the needed letter and this letter as well as a social worker flew to Benishangul Gumuz Region, on the border of Sudan, to his birth village of Assosa to file this request with the region of his birth to obtain the new piece of "file" that will satisfy the new regulation.

Of course, that week was a national holiday and the office never opened. Turns out the office wasn't open last week either. No one knows when it WILL open for us to file our request. Good times huh? Our agency is hopeful the office will be open again this week and we pray that his birth region will produce this for us so we can move forward. Once we produce what Federal MOWYCA wants (isn't it fun that federal MOWYCA and state level MOWYCA are the ones trying to appease each other?) we should then have "positive" comments on his adoption file and be able to have the interview that should have occurred back on 10/22. When that is done, we will be in business to fly.

So yeah.. quite the string of bummer news.. but these are the things that happen in international adoption. It's not done until you are on the plane home.. and we veterans know that is really just the beginning of "intense rehab" for a little person that has been through too much.

THIS IS HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Do not be negative at me about this process!!! Complaining about the Ethiopian government and pity parties for my son are not helpful. This doesn't change anything and it really just brings down the person who is choosing joy in this process (me). Things will be much harder while we are engaging him in his grief and adjusting to our new normal when we are home. Right now, my kids go to bed every night and my husband and I can go on dates. As a family of 5 we are in a great place and we are determined to enjoy it. Maybe after a year of 5 different foster children in our home, maybe we NEED this peaceful Christmas with our children. Do I want Trent home?? Of course I do. Can I do anything to change the situation? Nope. My job is to be faithfully preparing to be his mother and that is what I am doing.

I would love an update from my agency to hear that the BG office is moving this week. Let's pray for that! In the meantime, this is what we are doing around here.

We picked up our giant tree after Thanksgiving and saw Santa too!

We went for an extra special trip to "Build a Bear" where we made some new Rudolphs!

I also survived "cooking decorating" night.

Moving forward, please pray for Trent's case. We shouldn't be held up too long waiting for the new document as long as everyone is reasonable to work together. We are praying for news, and of course we are always praying for his spirit and his development and health. Please join us in prayer for our son to be able to come home.