Days 41-42: Taking Lucas to his birthplace and packing his bag.. sniff

So the more kiddos you adopt the more complicated the actual travel situation becomes. Most couples need to send someone home to work and make money (us) which leaves the other parent to stay in Colombia with the new guy (me and Sam).. so then what do you do with the rest of the people? Due to our kids attachment concerns they need to stay with Mom (the routine) but at some point for Lucas the routine and consistency (and English and Daddy and his yard) of home outweighed the need to be with me. Sending him and my mom home on the original plane tickets means that is 2 less tickets for me to juggle and makes my work load here a little lesser as I move into a more labor intensive time. Starting next week (hopefully) I will start the shuffle of all of the paperwork pieces needed to wrap this thing up and prepare for the US Embassy, which is our last stop.

Tomorrow morning I put my oldest baby on his first plane ride without his Mom and ship him home to his Daddy. This leaves me with one diapered child and one who still needs a lot of assistance. This leaves one kid that can ride on me all day and one in a stroller. This leaves zero people to be hit by a bus... well I guess we could all get hit at the same time, but you could blame that on me and I'll see you in heaven (where I will look much better than I do now. Mama needs a curling iron and some heels).

Knowing that Lucas' visit to his birth country was coming to a close, meant we needed a big Lucas and Mommy date. Ted and I had already agreed we wanted to go through Lucas' old information and then make a trip to his birth hospital. It is still a bit over his head now, but we hope in a few years, he can look back at these pictures and make sense of a part of his story. Many children don't know the place of their birth in international adoption, so this is a gift.

On the way there, I initiated a sticky conversation about parts of his story that we haven't talked about enough. He knows he is adopted and he knows his story of Fana and coming to us, the problem is that he hasn't been confronted with other people's pregnancies lately and his brothers are all adopted.. so he thinks that everybody flies somewhere to pick up their kids when someone tells them they can. Hence, you see the predicament. So.. what I'm saying.. is that if one of my kids ever asks you who your birth mom is, you can explain your lineage. He is just trying to figure stuff out. He didn't seem to be upset about any of this, but he was very snuggly and wanted to hold hands.

Below, a few selfies of us being silly.

Also, our bling.

I don't know quite how to describe his birth hospital.. as in Ted's line of work we have seen everything from 4 walls where someone gives birth on a dirty table with blood chipped instruments and everybody just hopes for the best.. all the way up to American grade. The best I can explain is that this is right in between. It is a hospital, in that this is where you go, and someone qualified can see you to some extent.. but it was also the public hospital of his area of Bogota. Everyone was being triaged at the door. I was hoping to at least go into the lobby even if we couldn't go to the maternity area, but I quickly realized they were more concerned with why I was standing there and what my emergency was.. and since I obviously did NOT have an emergency, it was time to quit being the weird American and get out of the way. Many poor people were camped outside, and I felt bad enough walking around with my child with a camera. In this instance, my desire to record this event for my future mature son won, so we took a few discreet photos of him.

It is so humbling to know that this is how he started his journey to me.

He seemed to understand all of this, and talked about where everyone else that was dear to him was born. Things get a bit more tricky when kids want to know about their siblings situations.. and all 3 of my boys histories are very different so I had to dance a bit over those.

In the end, I gave him a big hug and thanked God for him and for watching of that little guy before I knew anything about a baby boy named Jonathan from the public hospital.

When that was done, we went for another little mini-date to Carulla for a brownie for him and an ATM for me.

Today, we are just hanging around here and preparing to send him and Grammy off on the plane. There will be some ice cream to celebrate his last afternoon here, and then Grammy and I will be partying at Crepes and Waffles tonight to send her off in style. Tomorrow morning, my brave little boy will leave his birth country again (but not for the last time) and I'm really going to miss him. He is a pretty cool guy.

Days 35-40: Sentencia!! (sorta?), making grandparents tired, and travel update

So I just sorta forgot to blog the past few days.. well almost the past week.. and then I thought about it.. and then I didn't.. and then I fell asleep.. or then I thought about it and didn't care because I was tired.. ya know.. that :-)

First, let's talk about where we are at in the process, as my process this time hasn't been nearly as cut and dry and not as "normal" due to my court. So, I DO have "Sentencia" meaning that the Colombian government and the judge for Court 22 has agreed to Sam's adoption and he is henceforth decreed Samuel Alejandro Sibley, effective June 7th, 2013. I went and signed on Friday morning. The catch? Is that the Defendor of Minors assigned to my court won't "resign" his rights until the final moment he is made to. He has agreed to the adoption, don't worry,he is just making a point. He has 4 business days after the Judge's decree, and because today is a holiday, it means I won't have my official copies of the document until next Friday.. and even that isn't always a guarantee with Court 22. Like all could be well, but if for some reason the secretary isn't there to stamp the copies or whatever, I'm still in limbo. Ted and I had to make some really hard judgement calls with the rebooking of my flight. On one hand, we could try to get me home earlier, but then we run the risk of something going wrong (and a lot of things could given all of the hoops I need to jump through quickly to get back into the USA and my Embassy appointment).. if we book later (and we did) we know we have plenty of time even if I hit a few snags or something doesn't happen on the day it is supposed to.. I can get tickets that aren't ridiculous in price (relatively).. and worst case scenario I end up sitting here for a few days with all things done and I can focus on showing Sam the last few days in his birth country.

Because, oh wait, this ISN'T about ME.

When I get on that plane, Sam will be losing it all. He has already lost his friends at Fana, but he can still understand everyone around him and the smells and sounds are right. When we get off the plane in Texas, there won't be little old ladies cooing at him saying "hola mi amor chiquitito!!!" that he gets everywhere he goes here. His only point of reference at that point will be me and Ben who came along with him. So yes.. I MAY be sitting here in two weeks with everything wrapped up in a bow and ready to go on the plane.. but that will be the perfect time to really focus on Sam. If I try to rush out of here.. I gain a few days with my husband and Worthy to Shine(although given how sleep deprived and burnt out I am, I know I wouldn't be worth much anyway), but I'd be losing a few more thousand dollars and precious time Sam won't get back.. and that choice would be much more about me and what I want emotionally, rather than what is best for Sam and for us financially.

So anyway.. hopefully I get my copies on Friday and then the week after I can start working through the new birth certs, passport, and IR3 visa stuff for the US embassy.

So since I wrote last, Grammy and Papa arrived and went around doing all of the same things we already did with Ted, and then again with Auntie Breann! Hence why I didn't go into that much detail on a daily basis. I think we tired them out well enough. Randy is now on the plane back home and my mom is out for a breather.

Here are a few highlights from last week.

We attacked Simon Bolivar Parque



We went back to the Candelaria and enjoyed yet another really huge protest. This time, it was Colombians marching to stop the importing of stuff from China and to only buy Colombian (especially leather in the form of shoes, purses, etc).



Oh look, back at the Montserrate!



With Randy's departure today, and Lucas and Mom on Thursday, it was time to fill suitcases with items for Sam's culture box, as well as the Fana gala next month in MN. There was some intense shopping on Cyclovia/Market day this week!

Here you see us enjoying the street vendors..



Here, you see the results of my failed haggling with the soccer jersey guy.. and even through Ben is the child least likely in most of earth to be a Colombian soccer star, he still wanted one and wears it proudly. Way to support buddy!



Lastly, this is me negotiative some of the first crop of the day with one of my mango guys.. turns out when you smile sweetly and explain what you're really after, he will slice it up on the spot. Thanks Mango guy!!



Below is an example of what is usually going on when we are skyping (in this case, with Uncle Evan). Lucas was intently asking Evan about a game he had, and Ben had a tantrum and lay on the ground to whine for a bit, so I capture this precious moment.



Last night, we actually had one of our roughest nights to date here in Room #2. Sam woke up around 2am.. and noticed that Ben and Lucas had made their progression to my bed... where he decided he also wanted to be.. except that he did not want to sleep there. He wanted to crawl all over everyone and not lay down.. and any notion of laying down (although he was exhausted and cranky) was not to be had.. which resulted in all 3 or 4 Sibleys crying at various times. I couldn't lay on the ground with him, or the others would freak. I couldn't put him back in crib or he would freak. I wouldn't have us all together or we would freak at each other. Ben gets the gold star for the night, for the guy who slept through the majority of this, even though Sam grabbed him by the afro at one point to make him move. I went out and got a coffee at 6am or so.. and then I think after that I got us all somewhat calmed by a cartoon of some kind.

The good news, is that Sam woke up.. he didn't feel good.. and he wanted to be with me. The bad news is that everyone else wanted to be with me too, and this was the only room to "be" in.. and our bed just isn't big enough. We need a giant pack and play for the whole family that nobody can fall out of so that when 4 people are on a full bed, the little guy doesn't go all "10 Little Monkeys" and fall off the bed onto his little head.. because that is bad form when you've only had the kid for a month and the Defendor of Minors hasn't "resigned" himself ya know?

This morning, I didn't have much in me after my night of no sleep so we were off to Pan Pa Ya to watch the kids play and ingest large lattes. Here is our proof.



Tomorrow, I plan to get a driver in the morning and Lucas and I are headed for a special date to the hospital where he was born. I don't think he will understand, but I will, and for that reason there will be kleenex. We hope that having pictures of himself in front where he entered the world will help fill in some of the missing spaces later on when he is making sense of all of this.

Tomorrow afternoon, we return to the leather district in search of a few more items for Fana. Yeesh Fana, way to twist my arm for more shopping.. it will be SOOO PAINFUL.. SARCASTICALLY painful :-)

Now? I nap, because I really need a nap if Sam is going to start giving me a workout at nights.. but luckily he has a voice and he trusts me enough to do "the work" in attachment.. and "the work" results in great things later on, and Ben is my proof of that (remember 2011? ugh, but necessary).

Peace out all!!

Days 32-34: Bye Bye Aunti Breann, Hello Grammy and Papa

Sunday, it was another Cyclovia and lunch out day! One of my favorite Cyclovia events, if corn counts as an event... is the grilled corn. Lucas also decided that this was worth participating in.



We walked, we munched, and we pretended that everyone doesn't stare at the whitey white girls and their various shades of boys tagging along. I didn't get any photos, but we also made our way over to the La Fontana market where I was able to pick up my rather fantastic real Emerald cocktail ring that was back from being resized. I only spent a short amount of time at scarf guy, should I need an intervention. The boys really enjoyed some time in the bouncy house and Sam enjoyed the Colombians doing jazzersize in the courtyard. He participated in his own way. After the Jazzercize situation, we walked back home and regrouped before lunch.

This Sunday's selection was the Rainforest themed restaurant Safari Parque (or something like that..). Basically, it's Rainforest Cafe Colombian style with activities for the kids while the parents wait for the food. The food was nothing super amazing, but playing with my kids while I can sit there for a second counts as amazing enough for me to want to go back. The hippo doorway was also a big hit with certain people.



Sunday night was chick flick and chocolate night.. nuff said.

Monday was a holiday so we wandered Cyclovia again. To much sadness, I could not find Mango Guy. That is two straight days without one of my Mango Guys being out and about. This qualifies as a First World problem taking placing in a Developing World scenario yeah?? Today however, I found Mango Guy again, and thusly my life can go on.

Anyway

We also spent some time at the mall on Monday morning for Auntie Breann to round out some shopping before she left (sniff).

Much higher on the newsworthy note, it was Ben's 2nd annual Family Day!!! That's right folks, 2 years ago yesterday Benjamin Nigatu and I flew halfway around the world together, and smelled like it too. To celebrate such an occasion, Super Hero Ice cream at Popsy's ice cream was required.



We were able to take our Hulk and Ironman cups home with us, where they have now become evening yogurt holders. Yogurt redemption has magical powers of making people try foods without complaining, with the hope of earning such a high and esteemed prize.

After the yogurt but before dinner, I had this super bright idea to cut Sam's hair as it was over 2 inches long in most places and covering his ears and neck. I'd rather botch it a bit now and fix it once we're home than let him go with something that was resembling a mushroom covering for the head. Sam has magical juice for his bowel issue that we are pretty sure has addictive powers. I thought surely this magical juice would coax him into letting me remove part of his self. This worked for about 20 seconds.. and then I think Dr Purvis would not have been thrilled with my timing of this adventure. Since I was halfway through though, it wasn't exactly time to quit so we had to finish up as best we could. I considered getting a photo, but I think a picture of a screaming toddler in a high chair naked in a bathroom would be frowned upon. Once we got him up and in the bathtub for a rinse and play time, all was well and forgiven, and now we have a little boy whose ears you can actually see. You'll notice in the next round of Sam pictures :-)

Last night, in honor of Auntie Breann having to leave us, we went out to Cafe Amarti in Usaquen district again. We were able to sit out in the garden area and all was lovely.



We made it back safe and we put Auntie Breann to bed so she could get up at 4am to catch her taxi to the airport with Jairo (who was also picking up my Mom and Randy).

Mom and Randy arrived a bit early, and then made great time. I was awake most of the night as I always struggle with relaxing when people need to catch early flights, so I hopped in the shower at just the wrong time for their arrival. Oops. Once I finally got out, I could get Jairo taken care of. We spent the rest of the morning showing them the ropes and introducing them to Sam!! I think he is missing Auntie Breann and wonders where she (and that Daddy guy) went.. but it actually kind of helps his attachment to me since my "shift" never seems to end :-)

All is well and Mom and Randy are resting in their space and away from my children while I write this. Tonight will be more of getting acclaimated with the routine. I talked to Fana this morning, and they hope to have a report from my lawyer this afternoon or in the morning, to see how our case is doing. I don't expect Sentencia soon, but it would be nice to know if the Defendor of Minors judge has my stuff, and maybe how he feels about it? We have various contingency plans in place depending on how the next week or so plays out.

Spirits are up, and I am committed to keeping them that way. We are too blessed and home will be there when we get back to it :-)

Days 30 and 31: "Significant court drama and Jaime Duque park"

So after all of that stuff on Thursday, Friday was just a "park, play place, Breann and I breathe a bit" day.. so since nothing cool happened.. I'll update you on the realities of our court situation.

SO..

I've mentioned before that we are in Court 22, which up until recently was just a normal middle of the road court, neither super slow or fast. Well, our French friends were assigned to this court when they arrived back on 3/10 and have had significant delays across the board. Not all of it was the courts fault, as they lost more than a week for Holy Week (Easter) and also various other holidays when people didn't come to work. The court also asked for an "original" on a document for their daughter that has never been required, and is supposed to stay with ICBF permanently. This is the "Defender of Minors" 2nd judge, for those of you curious. The main judge doesn't seem to be an issue. Even when he got the document that he wanted, he wasn't speedy accepting it or moving it along. They did finally get Sentencia this week, but the same individual won't sign the final copies so they won't get it into their hands until next week. They aren't able to move forward with getting back to France until they have the final adoption decrees in hand. Although Chloe, their little girl, IS going home despite all of the hold ups, they will have been here for 3 months by the time this happens.

Now, this doesn't mean that all of this WILL happen to me. Every adoption scenario is different, and Sam IS considered a special needs child. I don't know that this is accurate, but my French friend here believes that this Defendor of Minors is not in favor of international adoption, and that he wants to make things as hard as possible for foreigners to adopt. Since Sam sat in the Colombian system for some time as a special placement child with no Colombians knocking on the door for him, perhaps this individual will have more grace for my case.

In any way, Ted and I have decided to plan on the long haul, so that I can emotionally, physically, (and, EEK, FINANCIALLY??!!) stay strong and positive in this process. Could I pass next week? I certainly could, but I am in a mental space now that I have "changed gears" that I am ready to be here into July. That being said, Lucas is not doing very well. There are behaviors coming out that we have never seen at home, mostly in the form of emotional reactions to very small issues that make us go "is my Lucas even in there? Are you POSSESSED??" Ted and I have basically (although not OFFICIALLY) decided to send Lucas home with my mother on June 13th so he can go back to his home and his Daddy. This will leave me alone here with one 2 kiddos (one on the stroller, one on the back, both good nappers). I'm used to parenting 2 kiddos solo all of the time and I've been here long enough I can work it out. I will fly my Mom back here when I DO get Sentencia, and she will come home with me. Now, if things start moving along like Sentencia could happen in the next two weeks, we will probably keep everybody here.

Please keep us in your prayers, as nobody has $4,000 extra liquid cash lying around per month, which is what it costs me to be here. You may also remember that this is our 3rd international adoption in 5 years, added to our 9 years of medical school tuition that we pay on. We are blessed, but we have also focused on our debt and Sam came along a bit "earlier" than anticipated. All will be well :-) I have decided. He is worth every penny and every day of being here, and I'd still do it all over again.

I leave thee with pictures of us at the park.. and then pictures today from our time at Jaime Duque Park!!






and lastly, a few laughs. I had shoved our stuffed Ironman, Thor, and Captain America in the window grid, that the maids had a little fun when we were out. The Sibley room is very well guarded.